A Blessed Journey.

I have been writing this blog mentally for weeks now, as I have continuously been blown away by the people the Lord has placed in our life as we've walked through this journey.  At a time when others might run in the opposite direction (rather than dealing with something SO heavy and uncomfortable), what we have experienced here has given us such a sweet taste of what it feels like to be a part of the body of Christ when tragedy strikes.  We have been so embraced, lifted up, rallied around, loved on, supported, blessed, and served.  I will admit that this is very new to me and it is SO humbling. 

Life experience had led me to believe that most people do not really want to serve others..or at least not when it "costs" them in any way..and especially without wanting recognition or expecting anything in return.  Just selfless giving of time, money, and resources?  Apparently, the Lord wanted to teach me a thing or two about what I thought I knew about people.

Our hearts have been so touched by the outpouring of support our family has received.  Since finding out Lily's diagnosis, our small group has gone SO far above and beyond what I ever could have imagined.  As if I needed any further proof of God's love for me, these are the people He has orchestrated into my life at such a time as this- the most servant hearted, Christ-like people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. They are truly faith in action.  Just thinking about it, and the tears are already flowing. While still pregnant with our Lily girl, they sent us to a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in Salado for some much needed quality time with Lily in my belly.  They volunteered to babysit for date nights and doctor appointments.  In fact, I never once had to arrange for a sitter.  I gave Allison the list of my appointments, and she coordinated a "Care Calendar" for the members of our small group, who would sign up to take care of the need.  They prayed. And prayed. And prayed.  After Lily was born, they brought meals to our family for weeks.  They have asked about my daughter, wanted to hear about her and see pictures..and I can't think of anything that touches me more deeply than that. 

Allison has been daily encouragement and inspiration to me.  I have never in my life met someone who so literally LIVES to SERVE.  The love of the Lord is constantly revealed to me through her, and I am just so, so thankful for the blessing that she has been.  I do not want to imagine what this journey might have looked like for me had it not been for her.  When end of life preparations were too overwhelming for me, Allison took on that responsibility for us. She planned and executed the most beautiful memorial service to honor my baby girl, down to the sweetest and most personal little touches and details.  She has truly entered into this pain with me, and carried the burden of this grief as if it were her own.  She has let me be completely bare and vulnerable in front of her..watched me fall apart and go through so many uncomfortable emotions. 

I am just so overcome with gratitude that God did not want me to walk through this alone.  I am so thankful that He sent this friend. 

Love and support has also come in some unconventional ways.  A few years ago I become part of an online group of mothers through an Internet forum called Cafemom.  They have been through so much with me over the years, despite the fact that we've never had the opportunity to meet face to face.  When military life left me feeling very isolated and alone, these beautiful and godly women were there to share tears and joy, to celebrate with me and to let me vent.  They have been mentors and faithful friends..offering their wisdom and ministering to my heart during periods of struggle and brokenness.  Before doctor appointments they called and asked if they could pray with me over the phone.  Several girls from the group chipped in to send me a garden stone and engraved necklace with "Lilianna Rose" on one side, and "2 Corinthians 1:3-4" engraved on the other side.  They had no way of knowing at the time how significant this verse is to me:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

And for every single person who took that moment to send me a message on Facebook, what a blessing you are.  I know I have not personally written back to each and every one of you, but I can't even begin to tell you how much it has meant to hear from you. Especially to those of you who stepped out of your comfort zone to send me a message, considering that we never really knew each other well in high school, or that we haven't spoken in several years..it's just so amazing and beyond humbling. 

And for my mom who let me (and continues to let me daily), call and ramble on for a half hour at a time or longer..thank you.  Thank you for knowing that there aren't any words that can tie this all up neatly with a bow, and for just listening to me and letting me sort things through totally unfiltered, even when I don't make any sense at all.  I love you so much and I am so thankful that you've been there when I need you. 

We have been moved beyond words by so many moments and mementos that we will always treasure:

Our pastor Dave, who came to the hospital at 6am on the day of Lily's birth, and stayed until 6pm that night...on the floor of the hospital room coloring with my girls.  I love this captured moment and everything it symbolizes to me.

A precious gift from our friend Jenn..a necklace personalized for Lily.  Such touching, unexpected acts of kindness.  I cherish this.

The most touching and beautiful framed art keepsake customized for Lilianna by our sweet friend Audrey, flanked by gorgeous "lilies and roses" from our church to honor our Lilianna Rose.

To Jay Jay Peterson, who offered her professional photography services free of charge through the organization, "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep"...wow!  It is absolutely amazing to me that these photos were taken from a hospital bed.  The way she captured our sweet girl and our tender moments with her was such a priceless gift. What an incredible way to use your God given talent.

For everyone who has been there for us, we just can't thank you enough.  Thank you for the cards, the gifts, the prayers, and for loving our family through this.  It has made all the difference.  We love you all.